Screw Fate
by DifferentShirley
Summary: Merlin has grown frustrated. His destiny is failing, Morgana still lives, and Mordred's recent resurrection by the Disir sets in motion Mordred's fate. To add more fuel to the fire, Merlin can't seem to ignore the intense attraction he has for the Druid boy. With Arthur's hate of magic on one side, and Merlin's growing relationship with Mordred on the other, Merlin's so screwed.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: -coughs- So I feel awful for not updating any stories for so long, hence posting this story. I've got a few chapters already made, so I have a good head start on this story. I hope you guys enjoy, and Merry soon-to-be Christmas!_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.**_

**Warning: This has maleXmale relations, and hints at sex. You've been warned!**

* * *

Chapter 1

The warm pulse was enticing, intoxicating and powerful with a hint of vulnerability mixed in. Merlin could feel the gentle tug of magic on his senses and the quickening of his heartbeat. He could feel the breath catch in the back of his throat and his mouth dried instantly as listless thoughts ran rampant in his mind. Touching, kissing, tasting; the flashes of conjured images did nothing to calm Merlin's growing arousal and panic.

His eyes followed the two knights sparring on the training field like a hawk stalking his prey. At first, he deluded himself into thinking that his gaze was only following the two to protect the young King Arthur. But more and more time passed and his gaze began to stray to the young knight the King was sparring with instead; Mordred, the young Druid boy that he once saved and has tried to kill more than once in the name of Arthur's safety. To say the emotions between the two of them were complicated would be a massive understatement. Yet, stubbornly, his hormones and magic (though, the two were mostly one and the same in nature) had brought a plague of fantasized images to the front of his mind. Merlin's own magic squirmed and boiled inside of him, reacting to the young knight's presence as he gracefully parried every move the King made.

Not that Merlin found this reaction unusual. He had known for awhile now that his magic and his emotions tended to go hand in hand. His attraction to those with magic was much more intense then towards anyone else. It was much like how Merlin felt around magical objects except much more intense and sexual. And on more than one occasion this magical pull has led to attractions to men and women, young and old, noble and peasants alike. Not that he acted out every desire he felt, and most could be ignored. It's just Merlin's luck though that the desires that he couldn't completely ignore were to his two worst enemies. His first infatuation was to the Lady Morgana, long before she strayed from them and betrayed everyone that loved her. Of course, her beauty had a hand in it, but her accursed magic made it a thousand times harder to ignore. Merlin's magic would hum with pure delight around Morgana and it took every ounce of his willpower to keep his hands to himself back then. Only his desire to keep his head firmly on his shoulders kept him away from the raven haired beauty. Merlin had loved once with Freya, so he knew what true affection was like, but the love between him and Freya was not as intense as it was between him and Morgana. The lines between hate and love blurred when him and Morgana were involved though Merlin would bet his life that Kilgarrah would argue relentlessly against that assessment.

Rubbing the weariness from his face, he looked down at his work and smiled slightly. Arthur's sword was sparkling clean. Not a hint of rust could be seen on the gleaming metal blade, and Merlin couldn't help but feel a stab of pride at the blade he helped make. Excalibur was truly a beautiful piece of art, and he wished he could thank Gwen more profusely for allowing him to use her father's treasured blade. Though, to thank her she would have to be informed that Excalibur was indeed her blade and then admit to how it ended up in Arthur's possession. That wasn't a particular conversation that Merlin wanted to have with current Queen of Camelot. His eyes flickered back to the duel in front of him only to find Arthur and Mordred going their separate ways. Apparently, the King had won again, but that wasn't surprising. Arthur wasn't called the best swordsman in Camelot just because. No, what surprised the young warlock was that Mordred had turned to look at him; his normally cold and distant eyes were sparkling with mirth. "_Emrys."_

Merlin's eyes widened with surprise as Mordred's lazy smirk grew just a touch wider at Merlin's response. The voice in Merlin's head held a ting of amusement and from the look on Mordred's face; Merlin could guess what Mordred was amused about. "_Like what you see, Emrys?"_

Merlin's tight smile shifted to a scowl. He wasn't partial to being the butt of Mordred's joke even if what Mordred said held some warrant and that they were only talking in each other's minds. "_You know exactly why I'm watching, Mordred."_

Merlin's tone was clipped and cold, the perfect combination to keep the distance between the two of them. Mordred's eyes narrowed venomously at Merlin. "_No, I don't actually. What have I done to earn your mistrust? Was it when I stabbed Morgana in the back? Or did I lose your trust when I jumped in front of that spear and saved the King's life?"_

Merlin was startled by the bitterness in Mordred's tone. He was clearly more affected by Merlin's distrust then he let on. For a moment, Merlin pondered again if it was a good idea to push the young Druid boy away. He had made the same mistake with Morgana before, and he would hate for a repeat experience. "_It's not what you did; it's what you'll do."_

The druid's gaze softened, but they still were narrowed on Merlin. "_You've said that before, Emrys, many years ago but still nothing has come of your prediction. Everyone still has their choices to make in life, and I chose to be loyal to Arthur and turned my back on Morgana. In time, I hope you'll see that."_

Merlin frowned, lowering his gaze to the sword in his lap before returning his gaze to the piercing icy blue eyes that Merlin admired so much. Sometime during Mordred's speech, he had made his way over to where the warlock was sitting and was now standing a few inches away looking down at Merlin. Shifting uncomfortably under Mordred's gaze, Merlin could understand on some base level what Mordred was trying to say, but the overwhelming fear for Arthur's life seemed to override every ounce of logic he had. "_I wish I could believe you… I truly do."_

Mordred must have heard the honesty in Merlin's voice because his gaze softens completely and the hint of a smile plays on his lips. "Perhaps, Emrys, we can start as friends?" The spoken question hangs in the air as Mordred stretches his hand out and offers it to Merlin.

Merlin's eyes flicker from Mordred's outstretched hand to his soft, blue-eyed gaze then back to his outstretched hand. Merlin knew what he was truly offering; peace. He'd be a fool to accept it and pretend the vision that he had seen was non-existent. In the back of his mind, though, Merlin could feel the beginnings of guilt starting to claw at his subconscious. He had failed Morgana by not giving her every option available. There was so many things that Merlin could have done differently that could have saved Morgana's life. Maybe destiny didn't have to be set in stone. With that in mind, the weight that had been suffocating Merlin for so long seemed to lift as he set Arthur's sword to the side and accepted Mordred's hand allowing the young knight to pull him to his feet, "Friends then."

Mordred's small smile split into a full-on grin at Merlin's statement. _"Thank you, Emrys. I swear I'll prove to you that your trust is not misplaced."_

His heart fluttered slightly, his cheeks flushing at Mordred's promise. Merlin wished fervently that this would work out and for once he hadn't made a mistake. He opened his mouth to reply, but jumped with surprise at Arthur's booming voice calling out, "MER-lin!"

The two men shared an amused look and chuckled slightly. Mordred's head tilts slightly as he gives Merlin a knowing look. "Go on then, Emrys. Destiny is calling."

Merlin snorts, "Destiny? I think you've mistaken that prat for someone important."

Mordred chuckled again at Merlin's attitude. Both knew that Merlin's insults were just thinly veiled fondness. In truth, Merlin was proud to call the young King his friend though neither liked to admit their friendship aloud. "MERLIN!"

Merlin huffed, rolling his eyes in annoyance at Arthur's shouting. He grumbles under his breath, "I'm coming you prat…" He flashes Mordred an amused smile, "The man has no patience."

Mordred chuckles at Merlin's usual insults, and on that note, Merlin quickly takes his leave from the training ground with Arthur's cleaned sword in hand.

/BREAK/BREAK/BREAK/

Arthur looks up from his paperwork when he hears his door slam open without a knock. He knew of only one person brave enough to enter his room without knocking and sighed in half annoyance, half fondness, "Where have you been idiot?"

Arthur wasn't surprised to see Merlin flash him an annoyed glare which clearly showed his dislike of the question. "Where do you think I've been? I've cleaned your damn sword and mucked the stables like you asked!"

Merlin's clipped tone surprised the young King. Arthur had known the manservant for nearly a decade and it was rare for Merlin to ever be truly annoyed or frustrated. Though, Arthur had seen a change in the young man the last few years that has had a profound effect on the manservant's personality. When they were younger, Merlin was always quick to flash a smile and brighten anyone's day. He use to have such a never-ending well of happiness that he couldn't help but infect everyone around him with his persistent cheer. Now, his usually cheerful servant had lost his perpetual happiness. His eyes that used to sparkle with mischief and mirth now seemed to be drowning in a never-ending sorrow. It was rare now-a-days for Arthur to even be able to wrangle up an honest smile on the young man's face. Arthur chewed nervously on his lower lip, unsure of how to proceed with his uncharacteristically somber manservant. "Merlin…"

The annoyed look on Merlin's face faded to a frown as he noted the King's examining gaze. Arthur saw Merlin shift uncomfortably where he stood and wrung his hands in front of him as he waited for the King to continue. "What's wrong with you, Merlin? You haven't been yourself of late and I want to know why."

Merlin's eyes shot up from the ground and locked with Arthur's gaze in surprise. Arthur was wearing his princely 'you better talk or else' gaze that always worked on Merlin before. Merlin's eyes darkened then hardened in anger and frustration. Arthur didn't quite know what to make of Merlin's sudden change in mood, and was even more dumbfounded by the anger in Merlin's gaze. Merlin never got angry and especially not with the young King. It was an unnatural look on the manservant that made Arthur want to squirm on the spot. Apparently, Merlin noticed the King's reaction and quickly shook off his anger and shrugged nonchalantly, "It's nothing, sire. I'm fine."

Arthur scowled at his stubborn manservant. He hated when Merlin called him sire and Arthur also hated the words I'm fine. The combination of the two sent a surge of frustration through Arthur and it cost Arthur every ounce of his will to keep from strangling the younger man. "_**Mer**_-lin."

The exasperation in Arthur's tone was hard to miss, and quickly Merlin stopped tidying up the room and glanced over to King. Merlin opened his mouth, clearly about to say something biting, but stopped when he caught Arthur's determined gaze then sighed, "It's nothing, Arthur. I just have a lot on my mind."

Usually, Arthur would have snorted and responded with a retort about that being an accomplishment for an idiot like Merlin, but Arthur held his tongue. For once, Merlin did seem to have a lot on his mind and Arthur didn't want his manservant- his friend closing off on him again. Arthur shifted his weight slightly, eyeing Merlin cautiously before carefully asking, "Anything you want to talk about?"

Arthur couldn't help but grin with pleasure as his question prompted a large grin to spread across his friend's face. It was a true smile, not one of the tentative smiles that Merlin usually forced now-a-days, "Nah, its fine." Merlin turned to return to his tidying but stopped and glanced back at Arthur with a warm smile, "Thank you, Arthur. You don't know how much I appreciate that you asked."

Arthur's cheeks flushed at the unexpected compliment. His heart warmed from the pride he could hear in his friend's voice as he thanked Arthur. It was moments like this that made Arthur truly appreciate his manservant's friendship. Arthur coughed, covering for his sudden blush, and quickly recovered enough to remember what he wanted to talk to Merlin about. "So, did you enjoy the show?"

Despite the teasing tone and the condescension, Arthur was still surprised by Merlin's sudden reaction. Merlin stiffened and he nearly jumped out of his skin as he dropped the armor in his arms. Arthur normally would have been amused by the wide-eye, doe-eyed look, but for once Arthur was just confused. Merlin eyed Arthur suspiciously before tentatively asking, "What do you mean, sire?"

Arthur sighed, shaking his head slightly. Great, back to the sire thing again. "I meant that you seemed quite interested in my bout with the young Mordred. I was wondering what you thoughts were on it?"

Merlin raised an eyebrow at Arthur's question, "Truly?"

Arthur couldn't help himself; he rolled his eyes at Merlin's ridiculous question, "Of course. I asked, didn't I?"

The room filled with silence as Merlin quietly inspected his master and friend. The suspicion slowly faded from Merlin's eyes and he finally shrugged and simply stated, "Sir Mordred is improving."

Again, Arthur had the overwhelming urge to roll his eyes at the very basic statement. Though, what Merlin said did have some truth. Mordred had improved a lot since he first became a knight. Now the young knight could even hold his own with Arthur, who was one of the best swordsmen in Camelot. "Indeed he has. He'll make a fine knight after all."

Merlin's mask had again settled over his features as he closes himself off from Arthur. It left Arthur with the sudden urge to punch a wall, because he just couldn't quite understand why the young new knight seemed to have such an effect on his normally friendly and open manservant. Arthur's memory forces the image of Merlin yelling at him for leaving Mordred alive and not killing him when they had the chance to the front of his mind. Arthur can remember thinking that Merlin's behavior was beyond abnormal. Merlin abhorred violence, and it was always Merlin's last resort. To so vehemently suggest killing another human being was just not in Merlin's nature. As Merlin collected the armor and left the room, Arthur couldn't help but wonder again what was going on with his manservant.

/BREAK/BREAK/BREAK/

Merlin stomped into the cluttered physician quarters drenched to the skin. Huffing, he collapsed onto a bench in exhaustion, not even glancing around to see if his mentor, Gaius was in the room. _Stupid prat. _Merlin couldn't help but grumble in annoyance as the day's events caught up with him. After leaving Arthur's quarters, he had taken Arthur's armor to the armory to clean and repair any damages. It hadn't taken him fairly long, and he was able to finish quickly and leave to do something else. Gaius had caught him chatting with the new Queen, Gwen, and had sent him on an errand into the forests to collect some obscure herbs he needed. Merlin had only wanted a small break, not really too much to ask in his opinion, but fate had over plans. _I do have other things to worry about other than running errands for Gaius or the prat. _Merlin huffed again at his own annoyed thoughts. He was so tied up in his own thoughts that he nearly toppled over in shock when another voice invaded his head, _"I believe you've increased my vocabulary with half the words you've been grumbling the last hour." _

Merlin glanced around the room cautiously, searching for the owner of the voice he heard in his head. Not, that he didn't know who was talking; he just didn't know where he was. _"I didn't give you permission to read my thoughts."_

_"You didn't have to. You've been broadcasting your opinions quite loudly to anyone who could hear them."_

Merlin flushed at Mordred's teasing tone. Apparently, Merlin still didn't have much control over his own abilities. He was pretty sure that Mordred couldn't hear any thoughts he didn't allow him too, which meant that for the past hour, Mordred had heard every creative curse Merlin had thought up during his return from the woods. Merlin had been quite angry that he'd been unable to find the herbs he was sent out for, and on top of that it had begun to pour half way out and poor Merlin had been drenched to the skin from the downpour. Grimacing, Merlin couldn't help but feel annoyed with himself, _"What do you want, Mordred?" _

_ "I would like to request your assistance in helping me take off my armor. If you're willing that is."_

Merlin shifts uncomfortable in his seat. He did not particularly want to be alone in a room with an undressed Mordred. Already, Merlin was having trouble with his erratic emotions and being that close to Mordred would only add fuel to the fire. His thoughts were cut off by an amused Mordred. _"Don't worry; it's only my armor I need help with. Unless you fear you can't control yourself around me?"_

Merlin narrowed his eyes at the table in front of him, since he was unable to glare at the person himself. For some reason, Mordred could read Merlin better than anyone including his mentor, Gaius and his best friend, Arthur. No matter how closed off Merlin appears, or how well-hidden Merlin believed his emotions to be, somehow Mordred could tell exactly what Merlin was thinking. _"I swear if you're poking around in my mind I'll kill you."_

_ "You're belief in my abilities are flattering, but incredibly misplaced. No one has the ability to truly read another's mind. I can only speak to you."_

Pacified, Merlin sighs and stands, his mind made up. He leaves the sanctity and comfort of his home and makes his way to Mordred's chambers. _"Coming," _is Merlin's last reply before closing the door to the physician's chambers and strolling off down to the knight's hall.

Mordred could hear the click of his door opening, announcing the entrance of Emrys as he slipped into his rooms without even knocking. He couldn't help but smile with amusement at Emrys's blatant disregard for rules or privacy. Though, Mordred did not believe in rules much himself. He started life as a Druid and didn't think himself above anyone else just because he was made a knight recently. Mordred turned, smiling at Emrys as he anxiously entered the room, closing the door before making his way over to where Mordred stood. "Emrys, I'm glad you showed up."

Emrys gave him a strange look, a mix of annoyance and disbelief. Mordred understood the powerful warlock had an intense love, hate relationship with his other name, but for Mordred it was name that he first came to the know young man by and considered it as the warlock's true name. The Druids never would willingly call Emrys by the name, Merlin, unless it was absolutely necessary. In a way, it was the Druids way of showing respect for the destiny the manservant held in his hands.

Mordred eyed Emrys, waiting for him to finally speak up, but clearly the manservant was giving the young knight the silent treatment. "Well?"

Emrys quickly moved to help Mordred out of his armor and cloak; unclasping the golden clasp and lifting the heavy red cloak off Mordred's shoulders. Surprisingly, Emrys was quick and efficient in getting Mordred out of his armor. Mordred raised an eyebrow in question at Emrys as he pulled off the last piece of armor. "And Arthur says you can't do anything right."

Emrys snorted, the first noise he made since entering the room, "Yes, well, Arthur's a prat."

Mordred smiled, amused by Emrys's normal insult. Perhaps, if he kept pushing at the bond, he could get Emrys to open up to him. Emrys picked up the pile of armor with an uncharacteristic amount of grace and carried it off to put it away. Mordred shifted from foot to foot, trying to think of a way to get Emrys to stay in Mordred's presence more often. Slowly, an idea began to form in the back of Mordred's mind that brought a sly smile to his lips. Yes, Mordred knew exactly how he could get the powerful warlock to open up around him, "Emrys?"

Emrys turned and eyed Mordred curiously, "Yes?"

"Perhaps you could attend to me each morning and each night? I've been having trouble with my armor and do not wish to trouble any of the other servants."

Emrys raised an eyebrow, amused, "But you don't mind borrowing my time?"

Mordred's grin grew knowing he had the warlock cornered, "Well, if you don't think you can handle it then I understand…"

Mordred's voice trailed off, leaving the challenge hanging in the air. Emrys's eyes narrowed picking up on the underlining challenge in Mordred's voice. "Oh, I can handle it." An answering smirk slid onto Emrys's lips as he heads for the door calling over his shoulder, "I'll get you up bright and early tomorrow morning, then?"

Without waiting for an answer, Emrys slipped out of the room leaving Mordred standing in the middle of his own chambers wondering what the hell he got himself into.

* * *

_Author's Note: So I hope you guys have enjoyed this story, as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I plan to upload the next chapter in a few days so be prepared. ~Shirley_


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Note: I feel awful for the continued lack of updates for Hope Lost, so I've decided to push ahead with this story in consolation. I swear chapter 2 of Hope Lost is half written and being worked on, I've just been struggling with a particular scene with Gwen starring in it. I've never really liked Gwen and it's been a tricky scene to write. _

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, though I truly wish I did.**_  
_

**_Warning: Same as last chapter, Merdred, maleXmale, you've been warned!_**

* * *

Chapter 2

For the next few weeks, Merlin attended to Mordred in both the morning and evening. He got up hours earlier than usual now, so he could attend to Mordred first then make it to Arthur's chambers before the King realized anything was amiss. And he would go to Mordred's room late at night after being dismissed from Arthur's service for the night. Surprisingly, the system worked, though, Merlin was often tense being alone with Mordred in his room. In the few weeks that he'd been attending to Mordred, he'd come to build a banter similar to the one Merlin shared with Arthur though the hints of flirting were definitely absent from Merlin and Arthur's banter. Merlin was having trouble seeing the young knight as even a remote danger now that he'd gotten to know him better. It unnerved Merlin how close the two had grown in their tentative friendship that now Merlin didn't even mind being openly friendly around the other knights and Arthur.

Merlin now was busying himself with tedious chores in Arthur's chambers as he pondered how much Mordred had grown on him. Merlin had even stopped caring that Mordred refused to call Merlin by anything over than Emrys. Now, it was even endearing to Merlin and made him feel special. He couldn't help, but worry though that the future he had been shown would still come true. Merlin was playing with fire at the moment, and for once he didn't care. Shaking his head, he scowled down at the floor he was scrubbing, blaming the floor for all his conflicted feelings. "Did the floor insult you, Merlin?"

Snapping out of his conflicted thoughts, he glanced over to Arthur who was eyeing Merlin curiously from his desk chair. "I was just thinking, Arthur. Something you clearly don't have enough practice with."

Surprisingly, Arthur seemed unaffected by Merlin's insult as he frowned at Merlin, "Does your thoughts have anything to do with Sir Mordred?"

Merlin nearly toppled over with surprise. He gave Arthur an incredulous look, clearly stunned by Arthur's perceptiveness, "And why do you ask that?"

Arthur leans back in his seat, smiling victoriously that he caught Merlin off-guard, "Merlin, you're practically an open book. It's rare that you can hide anything from me. I know that you've been spending a lot of time in Sir Mordred's chambers. And, well, with your…" He pauses for a moment, "Preferences, I could put things together fairly easily."

Merlin mulled over what Arthur said, catching on the slight pause and the inflection on certain words, "Wait, what?"

Merlin gaped at Arthur with shock. Did he think, that Merlin was _sleeping_ with Mordred? He looked at Arthur with a horrified gaze. _Why did he think that? And how did he know I would think of other men like that? _"Sire, I assure you that it isn't what you think."

Arthur smiled wickedly, "Don't deny it, Merlin. I've seen the way you look at him. And well, I know that you don't have problem with sharing a bed with another man."

Merlin's eyes seem to go so wide that he feared his eyes would pop out of his skull, "H-How? W-What?" Shaking his head to attempt to clear his thought, "Why do you think that?"

A sly smile flickered across Arthur's lips, "I went out to collect you from the stables once and caught you having a very heated make-out session with a stable boy." Arthur shook his head, ruefully, "Truthfully, I was stunned at first, but it doesn't matter now. I know that not everyone has the same tastes and I even know some nobles that prefer to take other men to bed with them. No shame in that."

Heat rose to Merlin's cheek as he flushed ruby red at Arthur's explanation. Merlin knew what Arthur was talking about with the certain nobles with certain interests. He had been propositioned too many times for it to be too abnormal. At least Merlin could blame his magic for his strange tastes. Technically, Merlin couldn't even be considered truly human. He was a creature of Old Magic that just happened to seem human, though Gaius would disagree with Merlin on that point. Only Kilgarrah seemed to take him seriously when Merlin wondered if he was truly human. As long as he stayed away from the word 'monster', Kilgarrah took most of Merlin's rambling thoughts into consideration. Merlin licked his lips nervously, memories surfacing in his mind as he remembered the particular event that Arthur mentioned. "You saw that?"

Arthur nods, flashing Merlin a comforting smile, "Yes. And afterwards I was quite happy for you." A devious glint flickers in Arthur's eyes, "It's why I sent you to the stables so much, hoping you could spend more time with the lad."

Again, Merlin nearly toppled over from sheer surprise. Arthur being _thoughtful_? Merlin pondered the ramifications of such a statement and wondered if the balance of the world had suddenly been knocked off kilter by Arthur's obvious display of affection. Cautiously, Merlin took a seat in a chair set beside the small dining table, "Do you know what happened to him?"

Frowning, Arthur seemed thoroughly confused by Merlin's question. "No, I figured you two must have had a falling out if you're showing such obvious affection for Sir Mordred." Arthur's eyes widen, "You're not still involved with him, are you?"

Merlin scoffs, insulted by Arthur's assumptions as he retorts, "You know me better than that."

Placated, Arthur's wide-eye gaze fades and the frown returns, "So what did you mean?"

Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, Merlin's anxiety spiked. He didn't entirely want to tell Arthur of what happened to the stable boy that Merlin could have loved. Merlin didn't want to bring any suspicion to himself, but he also knew that the King staring at him intently wasn't going to drop the conversation without knowing the whole story. The thought of telling the story made Merlin's heart clench and his eyes nearly welled with tears. He had lost so much to magic and its persecution. To think he had to relive any of the painful moments in his life again made Merlin cringe inwardly. And it wasn't just the single story that caused him pain. He knew as soon as he opens his mouth and tells Arthur the story that he'll break down into tears. Not only will it remind him of the loss of the stable boy, but it also will bring back painful reminders of losing Freya, Will, Balinor, and Lancelot. All people Merlin loved in different ways. Sighing, resigned to his immediate breakdown he states simply, keeping his voice detached, "He's dead. Burned at the stake."

Arthur's eyes widen with horror, "W-what? Why?"

"For the crime of sorcery, of course. It's the only crime punishable by the pyre, Arthur. You know that as well as I."

Arthur cringed visibly, upset by the bitterness in Merlin's statement, "Was he guilty?"

Merlin's eyes narrowed on Arthur in anger, "Does it matter if he was? He didn't ever harm anyone." Internally, Merlin thought miserably, _he didn't even know he had magic until it was too late._

Again, Arthur was startled by Merlin's reply. "Sorcery is evil, Merlin. Surely you have learned that by now."

Merlin snorts, "Yet you leave the Druids completely free, and you have even knighted a Druid. By your own statement you should have killed them already."

Arthur seemed troubled by Merlin's response, but also thoughtful. His eyes soften for a moment as he regards his troubled manservant. Clearly, the anguish that Merlin had been trying to disguise was not as hidden as Merlin had thought. Arthur eyed him with concern for a moment before finally asking with a gentleness that Merlin had never heard before from Arthur, "Why don't you tell me about it, starting from the beginning."

Merlin pondered it for a moment, weighing the pros and cons before finally succumbing to the desire to speak. Who knows, perhaps telling the story will help Arthur see magic as not inherently evil. "Well, the first time I met Ethan was two years ago…"

/BREAK/BREAK/BREAK/

_Merlin huffed in annoyance as he shoveled the hay and manure out of the stable, grumbling under his breath the entire time. Again, Merlin had annoyed Arthur at a very poor time. The stress of being King has started to truly affect the man's judgment lately particularly in regards to his uncle, Agravaine. Merlin has known for quite some time that Arthur's uncle was not as devoted to Arthur as he had led everyone to believe. He had overheard more than one conversation held between Agravaine and the witch, Morgana and even stopped more than one of their plots. It annoyed Merlin greatly though that despite all that he knows, Merlin was still powerless to remove Agravaine. Not without killing the man in cold blood, which isn't something that Merlin would ever resort to. Sighing again, Merlin's frustration and anger making him antsy, when suddenly he was caught off guard by an amused voice just a few feet away, "I'm pretty sure this stall is not only clean, but hay-less."_

_ Merlin first looked down at the stall floor realizing that the voice was indeed correct. The entire stall was spotless, so spotless that not even a speck of hay was left in the very empty stall. Turning around, he smiled sheepishly as he looked around for the voice. Whatever apology or explanation that Merlin was about to say faded as his magic suddenly surged to the surface, barely contained as it struggled to escape. The man leaning against the stall door nonchalantly was the definition of handsome with strong, handsome features, piercing green eyes, and short, spiked brown hair. His smile had a roguish charm that left Merlin struggling to breath. And the most interesting part was the warm glow of magic that radiated from the other man, which Merlin's own magic seemed to be struggling to reach. Finding his voice, Merlin scoffed softly, tossing the pitchfork into a corner before walking over to the man, "Well, then it's doubly clean, so King Prat can't complain."_

_ The other man gaped openly at Merlin, his eyes wide with shock at Merlin's teasing tone and insult. Merlin had a feeling he was about to get another lecture about showing respect to the king, when suddenly the other man burst out laughing. Now it was Merlin's turn to gawk at the other man. Taking in Merlin's dumbstruck expression, the stable boy collected himself then flashed Merlin a knowing smile, "You must be Merlin, the King's personal manservant then. I've heard a lot about you."_

_ The stable boy's statement didn't quite surprise Merlin. He was very well-known amongst the other servants of Camelot for both his clumsiness and his friendship with the King. Merlin flashes the other man an amused smile, "I hope you've heard good things about me."_

_ The stable boy's signature wicked grin spread across his lips, "I've heard enough to say it's more good than bad." The other man reaches out and offer's Merlin his hand, "My name's Ethan."_

_ Merlin accepted the man's hand, giving him a surprisingly firm handshake, "I hope we can be good friends, Ethan."_

_And good friends they became. For the next few weeks, Merlin ran into Ethan quite a lot. The two got along well, and the two didn't mind shirking work once and awhile to enjoy some well-deserved free time. Both pulled more than one prank on various knights and nobles throughout the castle. It was a wonder the two hadn't earned a reputation as troublemakers. Though, one night a particularly amusing prank on Arthur did not go unnoticed by the King, which led to Merlin yet again mucking out the stables. Luckily, the work was done quickly with the help of Ethan, who wasn't caught but decided to help anyways. Merlin had finished his designated stables and was now watching Ethan as he worked on the last of his stables, chuckling with amusement, "You know you didn't have to help me, it wasn't your punishment."_

_ Typical for Ethan, all he does is flash his usual devious smirk, "I'm a stable boy, and it's technically my job anyways."_

_ Merlin grimaces bitterly, "Not when I have to clean it. All the stable boys get a paid day off when Arthur decides to punish me with mucking out the stables."_

_ "See, completely unfair. I refuse to get paid for not doing any work."_

_ Merlin raises an eyebrow at Ethan in question, knowing that Ethan's statement was complete bullshit. Ethan sets his pitchfork down, finally finished with work, and sighs at Merlin's questioning stare. "Don't give me that look; you know why I did this."_

_ "I do?" Merlin frowns slightly, oblivious to the fact Ethan had slowly been inching closer. Inside, Merlin's magic was squirming around, begging for Merlin to reach out and touch the handsome stable boy. It reminded Merlin of the way his magic reacted to the Lady Morgana whenever they were in the same room together. _

_ A mischievous smirk spreads across Ethan's handsome face as he lunges forward. The two, servant and stable boy, slam into the wall with Ethan pressing Merlin forcibly against the wall. His lips crash together with Merlin's, the two sinking into a passionate, tongue-dancing kiss that leaves both of them gasping for breath minutes later. The wooden walls of the stables bit into Merlin's back from being pressed against the wall, but with his magic purring inside him and his head in the clouds, Merlin was lost in a fog of pure bliss. Regaining some semblance of though, Merlin laced his arms around Ethan's waist, pulling him tighter to his body and kissing him back just as passionately. The unanswered question Ethan posed with his first kiss being answered with Merlin's responding kiss. Ethan pulled away first, his charming smile setting off butterflies in Merlin's gut. "Well, that answers that."_

_ For weeks after, Merlin lived in a state of delight. Enjoying the company of Ethan during the day and basking in the man's love in the evening. It was rare for Merlin to sleep in his own bed, opting to stay with Ethan each night. It was one of those nights, weeks later, when the most unfortunate event happened. The magic Merlin felt in Ethan when they first met surged to the surface one night and set alight all the candles in the room. Ethan panicked, barely aware as he clung to Merlin in fear. The fear wasn't for the magic's use, but because he had no control. Merlin murmured comforting sympathies to the older man that he loved so dearly even if Merlin would never admit it. Because of his love for Freya, she had died days after meeting Merlin the first time. Call it irrational, but Merlin couldn't bring himself to admit his feeling anymore after that. He had lost everyone he loved so far, one way or another, and he wouldn't risk Ethan in that way. And it was with those thoughts that a pained Merlin sent his beloved stable boy out of Camelot. Merlin helped Ethan prepare to leave and promised to wait for Ethan when the time came that magic would be accepted again. It was with a heavy heart that Merlin bid farewell to Ethan and prayed for a time they could meet again. But it was never meant to be, for like Freya before him Ethan was doomed from the start. News spread through the castle of the stable boy's capture, though through some sick twist of fate Merlin was the last to hear of Ethan's execution. _

_ It was like any other day for Merlin, though that day he carried a heavy burden on his heart, when he strolled into the castle courtyard. He flinched uncomfortably at the sight of the pyre, his normal reaction to its appearance. Grimacing, he forced himself to maneuver into the crowd to watch the macabre scene, a reminder of the freedom he's working for. His gaze flicked from the pyre to the balcony where his friend, the King, stood solemn and with a slight frown marring his handsome features. This would be the first execution held during Arthur's reign, and Merlin was slightly relieved to see how uncertain Arthur looked. Hope fluttered in his chest that soon the future of Albion and a land of peace would be arriving sooner rather than later. In the next minute though, everything changed. Horror washed over him like a cold bucket of water was dumped down his back. "No…" Merlin's strangled whisper barely escaped his lips as his eyes widen at the man being dragged to the pyre._

_ It was Freya all over again. Ethan; covered in grime and wearing tattered rags. Tears filled Merlin's eyes as he watched his lover being dragged to the pyre and tied to the stand. Arthur's speech in the background faded to nothing other than a buzzing noise against the pounding of Merlin's heart. Ethan's wandering eyes catch Merlin's pained filled ones and Ethan offers him a shaky smile. Merlin's heart breaks at the sight, silent tears now openly streaming down his cheeks. The fall of Arthur's raised hand breaking through Merlin's pain-fogged mind as the guard drops the torch on the pyre. Merlin's eyes shuttered close as the pyre lit quickly, the flames consuming the dry wood faster than a wildfire. Ethan's pained screams broke Merlin's heart even more as he listened to the man he loved die the most painful of deaths. It killed Merlin a little inside to know that Arthur had yet again killed someone he loved. This time though, Arthur didn't have any good excuse. He waited along with everyone else, brooding in his own thoughts until Ethan's pained cries faded and finally disappeared before walking away, his heart yet again broken…_

_/BREAK/BREAK/BREAK/_

Merlin quickly wiped the tears out of his eyes as he finished the retelling of the story. Arthur was staring at Merlin, dumbstruck by what he was just told. It was clearly a painful story for Merlin to relive, and the tear tracks on his cheeks were proof of the pain the memory still held to him. Arthur didn't realize that Merlin had conveniently left out the tiny details of his own magic, but other than that, he had been told a perfectly truthful story. Choking back his own sympathetic tears, Arthur recovered enough of his wits to state, "The practice of sorcery is illegal, Merlin. I understand it's a painful loss, but a necessary one."

Arthur was trying to portray his sympathy for his pain through his gentle gaze, but was utterly shocked when Merlin rocketed to his feet, anger blazing in his eyes. "Necessary!?" Merlin's voice was raised only slightly, his eyes narrowing dangerously on Arthur, "You persecute what you don't understand, letting your biases and hatred taint your opinion on an entire group for the actions of a few. You claim to want peace and justice yet slaughter innocents for no reason other than your pride," Merlin's voiced dropped to a low hiss, his lips pulled back in a very un-Merlin like snarl, "You're no better than Morgana."

Arthur sat, shell-shocked at Merlin's words. Never had Merlin ever sounded so angry, and never had Arthur seen Merlin with such hatred in his eyes. Merlin turned, stalking out of the room quickly and slamming the King's door shut with a loud bang that echoed in the room long after Merlin left. A cold fear snaked down Arthur's spine causing him to shiver slightly. _Did Merlin really believe that? _For a moment, Arthur felt broken inside, hurt by the idea that his best friend would compare him to his monster of a sister. Could Arthur blame him though? He had executed the man that Merlin had loved on the word of a couple nobles. Technically, the stable boy had never shown any outward signs of magic and had never hurt anyone openly. Merlin was the only one that actually had a first-hand account of the boy having magic and from what he said, Ethan had never learned magic. He was born with the ability. That idea shook all of Arthur's believes to the core. Was it right to kill someone for the crime of being _born_?

Gwen entered the room to find her beloved husband with a frown on his face and his mind miles away. A frown flickered on her lips as well as she quickly made her way over to Arthur and sat down in a chair close to Arthur's side, "What's the matter, Arthur?"

Arthur was shaken from his thoughts as he glanced over at his wife, his eyes haunted with pain and confusion. Wouldn't Arthur feel the same as Merlin if it had been Gwen on the pyre instead? Arthur couldn't shake the feeling that Merlin was a much better man than him. He couldn't comprehend even the idea of forgiving a loved one's murderer. If he'd been in Merlin's shoes, Gwen's murderer would be lying in a pool of his own blood. But Merlin hadn't once planned revenge. No, if Merlin was to be believed, Arthur had not only killed one of Merlin's loves, but two. Arthur grimaced, his worried wife waiting expectantly for Arthur to speak. "Did you know Merlin use to love someone?"

Gwen's eyes widened, caught off guard by Arthur's sudden question, "No, I didn't. I've wondered sometimes, but I never actually seen him with someone…" Her voice trailed off as hurt also flickered in her eyes, "Why didn't he tell me he was in love? I thought we were friends."

Arthur took Gwen's hand gently in his own, trying to reassure her, "It's difficult for him to talk about."

Gwen's hurt quickly shifted to confusion, "Difficult? Why?"

Running his free hand over his face in frustration, he sighed, "Because his first two loves are dead."

Gwen gasped, her eyes suddenly sparking with sympathy, "Poor Merlin. That must have been painful for him."

Arthur opened his mouth to say something, but the words died on his tongue before he could speak. This was the hardest part for Arthur. He wanted to open up and tell Gwen so he could get her advice and counsel, but also he didn't want to admit that all Merlin's suffering was his fault. Finally, Arthur quietly choked out, "I killed them."

Her eyes widened in shock, her jaw dropping and her eyes widening in disbelief, "What?!" She exclaimed incredulously.

"He just told me. His second love was burned at the stake for sorcery, and I believe his first happened in a similar way as well."

Gwen frowned, "Why would you assume that? Perhaps, his first died of illness or bandits. Did he blame you?"

Arthur shook his head, "Not directly. He only said her name was Freya and when he told the story of his second love's death…" He paused, not really wanting to continue but knowing he must, "He said that I killed them both, but that with Freya I had good reason and Ethan I didn't."

Gwen was clearly confused, but also her body seemed tense from other emotions that Arthur couldn't quite put his finger on. If he wanted to guess, he'd say Gwen was a mixture of hurt and disappointed. Arthur sighed again, crumpling in defeat. The wounded pride he'd been carrying before from after Merlin's angry rant faded under Gwen's disappointment. He wished fervently that he could make up for his mistakes and help Merlin somehow. He didn't want Merlin to hate him nor for him to hurt anymore and he didn't want Gwen to look so disappointed in him. Arthur's pride set aside, he resolved to fix things for Merlin starting with pushing the young Mordred and Merlin together. A wicked grin touched his lips and he lifts his gaze from his lap to grin warmly at his amazingly, beautiful wife, "I have an idea how to make things right."

Gwen eyed him, disbelief and amusement warring in her eyes, but finally amusement won out, "Then best you get working on it." She stands and leaves her husband to his planning.

/BREAK/BREAK/BREAK/

Rage, pure unadulterated rage was coursing through Merlin's veins making his blood boil and his head pound. He could hear the sky rumble ominously in sync with Merlin's blinding fury. His magic was spiking dangerously inside himself, and Merlin was quick to escape Arthur's vicinity. Merlin had enough humility to admit he was scared of himself at the moment. He knew that his rage could be devastating and the last person that angered him didn't live long to regret it. But Arthur was Merlin's friend, even if the prat was emotionally stunted and didn't realize how insensitive his words were. That wasn't an excuse to hurt the King, and Merlin knew he would regret it if he did. With that in mind, Merlin made his way up the stairs and meandered through the halls with a location in mind. It didn't take long for Merlin to exit the castle's interior and took a breath of fresh air. He carefully picked his spot on the battlements, sitting with his legs draped over the edge and sitting in between a broken part of the half wall. The wall had been broken in Morgana's last siege and because of its unimportance had been left unfixed by orders of the King. Despite the poor safety of Merlin's chosen sitting spot, it was a great place to think. It was far enough out of people's way that no one wandered up there, and it had a beautiful view of Camelot. Merlin watched the skies thoughtfully; the darkened clouds and ominous rumbling echoed Merlin's troubled thoughts. He could feel his magic pouring out of him and saturating the sky, a safety precaution to keep the powerful warlock from exploding later on. It was hours later when he felt someone prodding at his brain. Merlin could guess immediately who it was and quickly pulled down his mental shutters keeping Mordred's prodding at bay.

The peace and quiet didn't last much longer though for not fifteen minutes later he could hear the echo of footsteps approaching. Merlin huffed in annoyance guessing who was arriving at Merlin's hiding place from the softness of the footsteps. He didn't even look up as he heard the door open and close, or when the figure approached him and sat down at his right side silently. The silence grew between two before finally the man beside Merlin spoke, "Bottling your feelings up will only cause you more problems later on."

Merlin glanced at Mordred, raising an eyebrow in question, "Have much experience in that area then?"

"More than I would ever want."

Merlin scowled, frustrated at the young knight's calmness. The man was beyond frustrating sometimes. He could be playful and flirtatious one moment, and the next be as cold and indifferent as a statue. "I can't talk to anyone! Everything that I've experienced could get me executed! Every loss I've felt, every secret I keep is because of necessity."

Mordred glanced at Merlin, his expression carefully guarded, "You don't have to hide anything from me, Emrys. You know I would never turn you in…" his eyes softened gently at the fuming Merlin, "It's not healthy to hide your grief. Grief only leads to revenge and anger, Emrys; you've seen plenty examples of that from your time in Camelot have you not?"

How does he do that? Merlin scowls at Mordred in frustration. The young knight could read Merlin so easily and it frustrated the warlock to know end. He thought he had grown fairly adept at hiding his emotions by now, but clearly not well enough if Mordred could tell what was truly bothering Merlin underneath the rage. "It's buried, long gone. There's no point in dredging it up now."

"That's not true, and you don't honestly believe that. You're trying to delude yourself because you've gotten so use to hiding. It's become natural for you to dodge questions that might lead to suspicion about your secret, and I understand that, Emrys. But there is nothing for you to hide from me."

Merlin was conflicted. The points that Mordred had brought up were all relevant and rang true with Merlin, but yet something still held his tongue. Frowning slightly, Merlin thoughtfully examined the knight beside him. The man had done nothing to show any disloyalty to Arthur or Merlin and had befriended the King and his knights. Mordred had even had gone out of his way to earn Merlin's friendship as well despite Merlin's obvious distrust. Merlin _needed_ to get everything off his chest, and why not tell Mordred? Out of everyone, Mordred would probably be the most likely to understand Merlin's pain the best. His shoulders slumping in defeat, Merlin sighed softly, "I'm tired Mordred. I've lost so many people for Destiny's cause and yet I've made no progress in accomplishing it. I've lost friends, family, and lovers to keep my secret hidden and it's killing me. Freya died because I wanted to runaway with her. My childhood best friend died to protect Arthur and to keep my secret hidden. Lancelot sacrificed himself to protect me. Ethan died because I was too afraid to admit my secret and he lost control of his magic. And my father, Balinor, died defending me after Arthur and I pulled him out of hiding."

Mordred's eyes softened with compassion the more Merlin spoke. By the end of Merlin's speech, Mordred's hand rested on his shoulder in a display of comfort as tears began to streak from Merlin's eyes. "It sounds like most of them chose to defend you. Their deaths weren't your fault."

A sob racked Merlin's body, "And what of Ethan and Freya? They didn't die by choice. They were murdered for their secrets because I wouldn't reveal mine."

The clouds that had collected above them darkened and let loose a downpour of rain. The skies seemed to be crying with the powerful warlock as he sobbed openly and leaned deeper into Mordred's side. Mordred pulled his hand away from his shoulder and then draped that arm over both his shoulders and pulled the sobbing warlock closer to him, "I guess… I guess we just have to hope. That those we love haven't died in vain, and that we can someday bring peace for our people and spare others the pain of losing loved ones."

Merlin curled into Mordred's side, his hands tightening in Mordred's shirt as he rests his head on the young knight's chest. Merlin's tears mix with the rain as the two continue to sit allowing the rain to soak them to the skin. Yet despite the persistent rain, the two continue to stare thoughtfully off into the distance in silence. As Merlin's sobs fade and tears stop to fall, the rain finally trickles to an end as the sun begins to rise. Merlin shifts for the first time in hours, pushing against Mordred's chest so he could lift his head up to look into the knight's sharp blue eyes, "And someday at a dawn of a new era, we'll get our wish."

A smile spreads across Mordred's lips, and then both turn to watch the sun rise with new hope shining in their eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's Note: I still feel awful for my lack of posting on pretty much everything, so I hope this makes up for my laziness. Postings will slow after this because I've fallen behind on my writing. I like to be a few chapters ahead before I post the next chapter and everything. I'm also going to reply to a few of the reviews below this AN._

_**Zephyr: **Thank you for the wonderful compliments and I'm glad you really like it. Yes, I meant for the weather to correspond with Merlin's emotions. I wanted to show that Merlin's vulnerability was affecting his magic and the world around him, also showing how much power that Merlin truly contains within him. And yes, Merlin will be calling Arthur out on his stupidity though not in this chapter.  
_

_**Sakae Doragon: **I understand what you mean and though I agree that isn't the best way for Arthur to earn Merlin's forgiveness; I intended it to be like that. Arthur to be honest, is an emotionally constipated prick and doesn't know how to stop being a prince and apologize. He'll realize later his stupidity after Merlin prods him a little, but on his own I doubt his first thought would be on apologizing._

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.**_  
_

**Warning: Beware the malexmale, Merdred relationship.  
**

* * *

Chapter 3

Sweat dripped from Mordred's forehead, splashing surprisingly loud against the cold stone floor. Mordred was sitting cross-legged on his chamber's floor across from an amused Emrys. A lit candle sat between them, the fire wavering between blazing and trying to disappear in a whiff of smoke. The two warlocks were again playing their usual battle of wills as the two pit their magic against one another. It was good practice for both boys seeing as Emrys didn't know many sorcerers with powers that could match his own. Well, Mordred felt it was good practice for himself seeing as Emrys wasn't even breaking a sweat. The last few days had been going surprisingly well between the two warlocks as the older warlock had been spending more time with Mordred. He had the sneaking suspicion that the King had been playing a not-so-subtle hand in pushing the two together by orchestrating certain situations. Giving Emrys a break for a week and also giving Mordred less training screamed Arthur's influence. Yet, despite how well Mordred and Emrys's relationship have been developing, Mordred could see the tension in Emrys and the subtle anger hidden beneath his forced cheerfulness. Growling with frustration, Mordred released his hold on his magic letting his golden eyes fade back to blue before glaring at Emrys, "Why are you here, Emrys?"

Emrys's eyes also fade from gold to blue while frowning at the younger warlock in front of him, "What do you mean? I thought you wanted me to spend more time with you."

Sighing, Mordred's frustration and anger slipped away under Emrys's pointed comment, "And I'm glad that you have been spending more time with me, truly. But, I think there's more to it now. You've been coming to my chambers and 'practicing' with me for days now and you always seem to be angry."

Emrys shifted uncomfortably under Mordred's knowing gaze. It was true, the older warlock had for days now been either openly fuming, or faking cheerfulness with rage simmering just beneath the surface. Mordred hadn't been able to get the older man to tell him exactly why he was so upset, but Mordred hazarded to guess that Arthur had some part in Emrys's sour mood. Though, Mordred had thought their conversation on the battlements had helped Emrys come to terms with his emotions there still seemed to be something on the older warlock's mind. He didn't quite understand why he was complaining, though, since the older warlock's spat with Arthur had led to him spending more time with Mordred in his chambers. But still, Mordred didn't enjoy seeing Emrys in such a mood and it was clearly causing the older warlock a considerable amount of anguish. Mordred's gaze softened to a soft, tender look that was a rare sight on the young man, "You can trust me, Emrys. Tell me what's been bothering you."

Emrys huffed, clearly not in agreement with Mordred's statement, but a flicker of desire could be seen in the older warlock's eyes. Mordred could tell that Emrys wanted to talk about the thoughts that have been weighing on his mind, and even if the older warlock was reluctant to admit it to himself, Mordred could tell by the amount of time Emrys had been spending with the younger warlock that he wanted to talk with Mordred. Emrys sighed with defeat, his shoulders slumping as all resistance fled him, "I can't help but wonder if Arthur is truly the man that the prophecies speak of… What if we're wrong about him and he'll never change?"

Mordred stared pointedly at Emrys, his jaw hanging slightly in abject shock. Did _Emrys_ just say that? And he had sounded so defeated, like his whole world had been shattered leaving the strong man in front of Mordred broken and desolate. It angered Mordred to see the powerful warlock that he admired so highly look so lost. Mordred reached out, cupping the older warlock's face between his hands and forcing the man to look into Mordred's cold, determined gaze. "Don't say that, Emrys. Arthur has become a man that others respect and admire because of _you_. If anyone could change Arthur's views on magic, it would be you."

A hint of hope sparked in the depths of Emrys's deep blue eyes, a smile tugging on his lips at the absolute faith that Mordred was showing in him. Yes, the anger was still there, but Mordred was glad he was able to ease some of Emrys's worries. The nerves between the two had faded long ago, but at this moment, Mordred could see any and all tension disappear from Emrys's eyes under Mordred's surprising amount of faith. "Thank you, Mordred."

Mordred's smile brightened the warmth of his own magic surging through him as spikes of desire returned in full force. It was getting harder and harder for Mordred to keep his hands off the handsome, older warlock as the two of them got closer. Emrys could sense the growing tension, quickly pulling away from Mordred. "I should go…" Emrys murmured softly as he quickly stood.

Mordred's magic swirled inside him, clearly agitated at the lost of contact as Emrys quickly took his leave from the chambers. In a split second decision, Mordred was on his feet and rushing after the older warlock, though he wasn't quite sure what he would do after he caught up with the older man.

/BREAK/BREAK/BREAK/

Arthur groaned in frustrated pain as he shuffled around his and Gwen's shared quarters. He was dressed in his armor, sword in its sheath at his hip, and otherwise ready to go to the training grounds thanks to Gwen's preparations. Merlin had been given the week off after the argument they had days ago, and Arthur was quickly starting to realize how lost he was without the young servant's guidance. Gwen had been pushing Arthur to speak to Merlin and apologize, but Arthur had been steadfast in his avoidance. Merlin was clearly too upset to have a rational conversation with Arthur, and Arthur was too conflicted in his thoughts to even contemplate what he would say to placate the angry manservant. Ever since Merlin had told him Ethan's story, Arthur had been conflicted on his own opinions on magic. On one hand, he had seen all the damage that sorcerers had caused to Camelot and himself personally, and yet, on the other hand, Merlin had seen magic used innocently and for good. Merlin even said that not all sorcerers _learned_ magic, and that some were born with the talent. "Bloody hell…" Arthur grumbled under his breath.

Swiping a hand through his hair, he quickly left his chambers and made his way to the training grounds. Pacing wasn't doing anything to help Arthur think, and perhaps some time training would help clear Arthur's mind. Arthur chewed nervously on his lower lip as he walked, second guessing his decision to go to the training grounds. His favorite knights were all a bit prickly with him ever since they caught on to the fight that Arthur and Merlin had. None of them knew exactly what the argument had been about, but they clearly were blaming Arthur for Merlin's stormy mood. Gwaine openly had been giving Arthur dirty looks and pounding him in combat on the practice field, while the others were all giving him varying degrees of the cold shoulder. Arthur should probably be a bit disturbed that his own knights seemed more loyal to his manservant then to their king, but the guilt that had been weighing Arthur down agreed with the knights' attitudes. Sighing, he hoped lightly that perhaps the knights would be in a better mood today.

It was a battered, bruised, and tired king that dragged himself into the armory after a tough day of training. Apparently, just to spite Arthur, the knights had seemed even angrier today than the days before. Cursing softly, Arthur struggled to worm his way out of his armor without any help. His cursing began to get intense and more creative as his efforts brought failed results. He quickly stopped with his struggle as laughter sounded to his side. He turned, ready to snap at whoever dared to laugh at him, and stopped suddenly when Arthur caught his gaze on Elyan, his brother-in-law. Elyan had been the most sympathetic of the knights towards Arthur's troubles which killed whatever retort was on the tip of Arthur's tongue. Instead, Arthur smiled sheepishly at the knight and shuffled on the spot, "Do you think you can lend a hand?"

Elyan eyed the sheepish King with an intense gaze that left Arthur squirming on the spot. Apparently, Elyan must have found what he'd been looking for because the soft-spoken knight simply nodded and stepped forward to help Arthur out of the armor. Arthur watched cautiously at Elyan worked, pondering as he stared. Perhaps he could talk to Elyan? The man was Arthur's brother-in-law, and a trusted knight of the kingdom. Add in the knight's sympathy towards Arthur and the King slowly grew more certain in his decision. Before he could decide otherwise, Arthur quickly stumbled through his question, "Do you believe all magic evil?"

Elyan stiffened, his eyes quickly shooting up to look at Arthur in shock. The question had clearly caught the man off-guard, so Arthur waited patiently for Elyan to collect himself. A stream of emotions flickered in Elyan's eyes; confusion, worry, concern, and finally suspicion. Slowly, he shifted and continued to remove Arthur's armor without a word. Once Arthur had been freed from the heavy metal plates, he set the armor on the table keeping his back to the curious King. "Does this have something to do with your argument with Merlin?"

Arthur wasn't surprised by Elyan's question; he'd always been a perceptive man. "Yes."

His reply was simple and straightforward. Arthur wanted for Elyan to answer his original question and not try to redirect the conversation. Crossing his arms, he waited impatiently for the knight to speak again. Elyan turned, glancing at Arthur cautiously. He seemed tense, and unsure of what to say to the temperamental King. "I've seen the evils that magic can cause, certainly. The best example being Morgana and the torment she brought down on Camelot's people during her reigns."

Arthur visibly flinched at the mention of Morgana, Merlin's words from a couple days ago flickering through his thoughts. Elyan noted Arthur's reaction, but still continued on, "Yet, I haven't always lived in Camelot, and I've seen many things in my travels." He took a seat on a bench, settling for the foreseeable future, "While I was up north, I had decided to settle for a time. I picked a small village to stay in and set up a temporary smithy to work in. I doubted my stay would be long, but I figured I could earn some money while I was there. I was two weeks into my stay when a deadly disease started spreading rapidly through the small village." His voice teetered off, pain becoming evident in his tone, "Ten died over night. The King was contacted for assistance, but our request was denied. All hope had been lost amongst the people, and by the time the messenger had returned everyone had fallen ill including myself."

Arthur frowned in confusion, "But you're still alive. The disease must not have been that deadly then."

Shaking his head, his tone was now quite bitter, "Oh no, it was very deadly. I was on my death bed, prepared for my upcoming death when I suddenly felt a warmth surge through my limbs. Before, I had felt so weak that I barely could move a muscle, but after the warmth faded a new sense of strength returned to my limbs."

Furrowing his brow, Arthur's confusion was beginning to fade and a sense of dawning realization filled his mind. Arthur could see where Elyan was going with this story, "The disease was caused by a sorcerer then?"

Elyan shook his head, his frown clearly showing his frustration at Arthur's quick conclusion, "No, it was natural. But how we were cured wasn't."

The confusion again returned in full force, "Are you saying a sorcerer cured you?"

Elyan nodded, "Yes, and not just me. Everyone in the village that was still alive had been cured of the illness. Apparently, when one messenger had been sent for the King's assistance, the other had been sent for the Druids."

Arthur was openly frowning now, pondering over Elyan's story. From what he said, the Druids had helped just because they could. There was nothing to be gained by healing the small, backwaters village. Adding in Elyan's story with some of Arthur's experience with the Druids, the presence of Mordred as his knight, and the talk with Merlin and Arthur was now suitably unsure of his believes. Seeing Arthur's thoughtful expression, Elyan stood and flashed Arthur a small smile, "I hope that answers your question, sire."

Arthur nodded weakly, barely even noticing as Elyan took his leave. _Was Merlin right?_ Arthur was truly starting to wonder if Merlin did have a point. Some of what he said was starting to ring true and the guilt was growing to be overwhelming. How many innocents did Uther execute? How many did _Arthur_ execute? Tensely, Arthur stood and quickly fled the room trying to get away from his racing thoughts. He meandered through the halls, not exactly sure where he was going, or if he had any set destination, but that seemed to be exactly what he needed. Forcing himself to keep his mind blank, he didn't even realize that somehow he had wandered from the armory all the way to his quarters and then back to the knight's hall. Turning a corner, after taking in the scene he quickly stopped and backtracked, plastering himself against the wall. His heart was racing as quickly as his thoughts, and he didn't even ponder why he decided to hide instead of walking up to the pair before peeking around the corner again.

Standing a little ways down the hall, Merlin was glaring at Mordred in mild anger, though he looked more exasperated then truly angry. Mordred was fidgeting, looking nervous under Merlin's gaze. Arthur frowned, worried that Merlin and Mordred were having a spat. He'd been trying to get the two together since he noted Merlin's feelings, but it seems Arthur's efforts haven't been working. Merlin crossed his arms, his eyes narrowing suspiciously at the younger man, "What do you want from me, Mordred."

Merlin's question caused an instant reaction in the young knight, who stiffened then bristled angrily, "I want you to not run away as soon as things get tense!"

Merlin recoiled in surprise, his eyes wide in response to Mordred's angry statement. Arthur couldn't see the expression on the knight's face since his back was to Arthur, but the King could guess. Merlin's jaw clenched stubbornly, "I'm not running away."

Mordred stepped forward, forcing the manservant to step backwards and press himself against the wall. Arthur could see the tension in Mordred's movements and could guess that the knight's eyes had narrowed the moment Merlin backed up. "Then why do you back away, Emrys?"

_Emrys?_ Was that Mordred's pet name for the manservant? Whatever the case, Arthur could ponder it later for as soon as Mordred asked his question, Merlin stiffened in response, anger filling his eyes. "I can't get involved, Mordred!"

Arthur flinched at the pain and anguish that filled Merlin's exclamation. Mordred had a similar response as Arthur's to Merlin's statement. The tension fled Mordred's frame and he stepped closer to the manservant, his hand resting gently on the older man's forearm. "I know you don't trust me, and I wish I knew why…"

Again, Arthur was left stunned and confused. Merlin didn't trust the young knight? What could have Mordred possibly done to earn Merlin's mistrust? Pain again was filling Merlin's eyes as he stood rigid in front of the young knight. Mordred continued to speak softly most likely not noticing the change in Merlin's emotions, "Whatever you've seen, whatever you've been told; it doesn't matter. I have chosen my side, Emrys, and my loyalties do not lie with Morgana. They lie with you."

Arthur gaped in pure disbelief. Merlin thought Mordred was allies with _Morgana_? Merlin's eyes shined with unshed tears, the tension fleeing him as he slumped in defeat, "I-I know… I believe that now, Mordred. I don't know if it'll last, and I've never been able to tell the future. And I want to live in the moment, but I can't…" Merlin reached out with his hand and takes Mordred's free hand, "I'm afraid, Mordred." Mordred tensed after that comment, but Merlin plowed on undaunted, "Not of you, but _for_ you." A single tear slide down Merlin's cheek and his breathing was coming in shakily, "I've lost everyone I've ever cared for because of destiny and persecution. I don't want you to be caught in the crossfire because I allowed myself to care for you."

Mordred instantly softened after Merlin's speech, lifting his hand from Merlin's forearm and caressed Merlin's cheek gently, "I'm not Freya or Ethan. I have control over my magic unlike them. We both know the pyre isn't in my future." Both Merlin and Arthur flinched slightly at that statement though most likely for different reasons, "And I'm not your father. There is no reason for me to run."

Arthur was completely stunned. Not only did Mordred know about Merlin's past loves, but also apparently knew something about Merlin's father that Arthur didn't. Merlin had told Arthur that he didn't know anything about his father, but Mordred just proved that what Merlin told Arthur before had been a lie. And even more stunning then that was Mordred's earlier statement. Mordred had _magic_. Arthur probably shouldn't have been so surprised about that. He knew that Mordred was a Druid, and Druids were magic. The two tended to go hand-in-hand and Arthur was delusional to believe otherwise. What truly shocked Arthur, though was that despite what Mordred said earlier about Merlin not trusting the young man, Merlin had never mentioned to Arthur a thing about Mordred's magic. If Merlin truly didn't trust the young knight, the manservant could have been rid of Mordred easily just by telling Arthur of Mordred's magic. Instead, Merlin seemed to be protecting the young knight and has kept his secret from Arthur and even defended the use of magic. That didn't sound like the man Mordred described earlier. But what truly stayed Arthur's hand though was the broken look on his manservant. Arthur's heart clenched in sympathy at the shattered expression on Merlin's face, and after Merlin's next softly spoken words, Arthur had an overwhelming urge to walk over and comfort his friend, "I can't loss anyone else…"

Mordred pulled the older man into a tight embrace. The young knight pulled away after a moment, reaching out with the hand that caressed the manservant's cheek, he brushed his hand through Merlin's hair. Mordred's fingers curled into the hair at the back of the other man's head pulling him down to the knight's lips. The kiss was gentle, tender and Arthur nearly turned away at the sight of it. He felt like he was intruding on a private moment that he shouldn't bear witness to. Merlin's arms wrapped around Mordred's waist, pulling the knight flush against the servant and deepening the kiss, tears still streaking down his cheeks. It was at this moment that finally Arthur turned away, fleeing the hallway as fast as physically possibly. Rushing back to his chambers, he locked himself safely in his room and collapsed at the foot of his bed thoughts turning around in his mind. The King had a lot to think about with Elyan's story and Mordred's revelation.

/BREAK/BREAK/BREAK/

Merlin slept walked his way out of castle. Night had descended on Camelot quickly after the confrontation with Mordred in the hall. Merlin brushed his fingers over his lips absently, his thoughts wandering to the conversation he and Mordred had before the young knight had kissed him. His emotions and magic had been in turmoil ever since his argument with Arthur days ago. Merlin barely had a grip on his magic as is, and throwing Mordred into the mix was both calming and damning. Half the time, Merlin could be relaxed and himself around the young Druid, but the rest of the time Merlin felt tense and even more confused when it came to the young knight. He was impossible to read, and even more difficult to understand. Mordred caused Merlin all kinds of frustration and now Merlin was left with an impossible dilemma; Cut ties with Mordred, or continue the relationship Mordred and Merlin had built? Both options threatened to bring Merlin unimaginable pain, and Merlin could think of no other options available to him. Groaning, he rubbed his hand over his face in frustration, trying to force his troubled thoughts out of his mind.

The cool night air brushed across Merlin's skin as he quickly changed direction, making his way through the South Gate and creeping silently pass the oblivious guards. His thoughts continued to wander as he allowed his feet to subconsciously carry him through the forest and out to Kilgarrah's field. "O _drakon_, e mala soi ftengometh tesd'hup anankes! Erkheo!"

After Merlin roared out his command, he shifted from foot to foot, growing impatient as he waited for Kilgarrah to arrive. It was a few hours later when finally Merlin heard the soft beat of wings and looked up to spot the golden glint of Kilgarrah's scales as he landed gently in front of his dragonlord. Settling himself on the ground, Kilgarrah eyed the man in front of him silently for a moment before finally speak, "I sense that you're mind is troubled, young warlock."

A rough, humorless chuckle escaped Merlin's lips, "Troubled… Yea, troubled fits how I'm feeling right now."

Merlin began to pace anxiously in front of Kilgarrah, his gaze glued on the grass at his feet as he gathered his thoughts, "I don't know what to do, Kilgarrah. I feel like I've returned to my younger years all over again, unsure of what I should do. My head tells me to be wary of the young Druid, but my heart says otherwise." He stopped pacing for a moment to gaze at Kilgarrah a determined glint in his eyes, "I do not want to make the same mistake with Mordred that I did with Morgana."

Kilgarrah scowled, lips peeling back from his teeth as a low rumble echoed in his throat, "Then follow my advice and kill him now."

Merlin's eyes widen, horrified, "No!"

A roar ripped from Kilgarrah's throat, flames flaring from the dragon's mouth and setting the sky aflame, "You know of the Druid boy's fate yet you still insist on ignoring my advice! You ignored my advice with Morgana and yet you insist on making the same mistake twice."

Rage bubbled to the surface, Merlin's magic flaring out around him as a tree stump exploded nearby. "No." His voice was barely higher than a hiss, but the venom in his tone drew the dragon's full attention, "I followed your advice and kept Morgana in the dark of my abilities. If I had told her, I doubt she'd had turned to Morgause in the first place. None of this would have happened if Morgause hadn't got her claws on Morgana during a moment of weakness."

Kilgarrah fell silent, tilting his head from side to side as he examines the powerful young warlock in front of him. "You have wisdom beyond your years, young warlock, yet you still refuse to accept the effects of destiny."

"It is my destiny to protect Arthur and bring magic back to the lands of Albion. I accept that. But tell me Kilgarrah; is there a difference between _fate_ and _destiny_?"

Blinking slowly, the implications of Merlin's question made Kilgarrah pause then lowered himself into a laying position. "Destiny is unavoidable, young warlock."

Tapping his foot, impatiently, Merlin raised an eyebrow expectantly as he waited for Kilgarrah to continue. Kilgarrah sighed softly, "Fate can be voided out, only if circumstances are changed. A certain set of events can destroy someone's fate."

Merlin's eyes narrowed on Kilgarrah, "So you're saying that I can void out Morgana's and Mordred's fates?"

"Yes and no. You are Morgana's destiny and doom. There is no avoiding Morgana's defeat though you can decide in what way that your Morgana's doom. But take care, she is the darkness to your light, the-"

"The hatred to my love, I know. You've told me before." Merlin's eyes narrow in thought, his mind turning over the new information he had gathered, "So, I don't have to kill Morgana?"

Kilgarrah grimaced, clearly not liking the direction Merlin's questions are going, "In theory, no, but it would be easier."

"It is always easier to do the wrong thing, Kilgarrah, that's why there are so few truly good people." Letting his comment sink in for Kilgarrah, Merlin continues his questions a moment later, "And Mordred?"

"His fate can be only avoided if your destiny is completed before he turns on the young King."

Merlin's eyes widen in surprise, "So to save Mordred, I must complete my destiny and keep Mordred from turning on Arthur?"

Kilgarrah grumbles, "In theory…"

A weight seems to lift from Merlin's shoulders as Kilgarrah's answers eases Merlin's thoughts. "Thank you, Kilgarrah."

Kilgarrah sighs softly, rising to his feet, "I hope you know what you're doing, young warlock. You're playing a dangerous game." At that parting statement, Kilgarrah turns and takes off into the sky.

Merlin watches as Kilgarrah disappears off into the distance, and continues to stand there watching the sun rise slowly into the sky, "I hope so too, old friend. I hope so too…"


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's Note: -hides behind computer screen- So this is like... 3 months late. Dx I'm so so sorry! I've been so backlogged with homework and other things that I haven't had time to work on FanFiction. I know this is super long-awaited and I know this is shorter than my most of my earlier chapters and I'm sorry, but I hope you still like it and enjoy. I hope my next posting won't take so long. And I thank everyone who is still following and reviewing this and I thank you for your support._

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin._**

**Warning: This has male/male, blah blah, you already know this. xD**

* * *

Chapter 4

Stumbling into the castle the next morning, Merlin yawned softly. His conversation with Kilgarrah had lifted many of Merlin's worries about Mordred and Morgana leaving Merlin feeling more relaxed than he had been in years. There was a skip in Merlin's step and a small smile on his lips as he made his way through the castle corridors. He was whistling softly to himself as he went through his usual morning routine. Snagging Arthur's breakfast, he flashed the cook a warm smile and quickly left and made his way to the King's chambers. Stopping just outside the door, he shifted the platter to rest on one arm and listened for any noise inside. Deeming it safe, Merlin pushed his way into the room calling out in a sing-song voice, "Rise and shine, your majesties!"

He swept into the room, setting the platter on the table and then swiftly moving to draw the curtains open quickly. Light flooded the room, causing the figure on the bed to stir and groan. Merlin noted with surprise that the Queen was not in bed with Arthur, and frowned. Where could she be? Shrugging, he ignored his curious thoughts and instead got to work on setting Arthur's clothes out for him. "Out of bed, Arthur. You have a busy day today."

The King rolled over in bed, groaning in response, "Go away, _Mer_lin."

Merlin hummed softly, walking over to check on Arthur's armor as he waited for the King's sleep addled brain to catch up with current events. It didn't take long, as Arthur slowly realized what he said and shot up in bed. The King's eyes widened as he caught sight of Merlin meandering around the room and going about his daily routine with a soft hum. "Merlin!"

Merlin flashes the King a wry grin, "That would be my name, sire."

The King rubbed his eyes for moment, blinked, then frowned as he realized that Merlin was truly there, "What are you doing here?"

Raising an eyebrow, Merlin eyed the King with a look that said 'Are you stupid?', "My chores. It is my job, last I checked."

Arthur coughed roughly to cover his embarrassment, "I mean, aren't you still angry with me?"

Merlin was pleasantly surprised by the question, having thought that Arthur had just forgotten about his wayward manservant. "I was, but I don't think avoiding you will fix anything," A wicked grin spread across his lips, "And, I don't believe messing in my personal affairs that are none of your business was the appropriate response either."

The King licked lips nervously, a faint blush blossoming on his cheeks as he shifts to sit on the edge of the bed, "Merlin… I'm sorry about what I said. You were right, I don't know enough about magic to judge things clearly. My father's teachings have left me biased, and Morgana's betrayal had only solidified his teachings. I didn't know enough about Ethan to jump to conclusions, and I'm sorry if I insulted his memory."

Merlin was openly gawking by the end of the King's speech, his eyes wide with surprise. Did _Arthur_ just _apologize_? He suddenly had the overwhelming urge to walk over and check Arthur's temperature and perhaps check if there was an enchantment on the King. Merlin's Arthur _never _apologized. "Are you alright, sire?"

Arthur groaned, shaking his head slightly before flashing a glare at Merlin, "There is nothing wrong with me, _Mer_lin. Just accept an apology when it is given."

Merlin snorts lightly, smiling to himself. Nope, Arthur's fine. He's still his usual prattish self. "Yes sire."

Merlin spent the rest of the morning completing his neglected chores. Arthur's eyes had followed him the entire day, and Merlin was growing tense the longer Arthur stared. If this continued, Merlin was going to snap at the King again and he really didn't want to snap at Arthur. Finally, after the tension started to grow unbearable, Arthur stood up from his desk, stretched and headed for the door, "I have a meeting to attend to. I expect your chores to be done when I return."

Watching Arthur leave with a puzzled expression on Merlin's face, he wondered for the hundredth time today what the hell was going through Arthur's thick skull.

/BREAK/BREAK/BREAK/

Arthur closes the door lightly behind him as he takes a relieved breath. After seeing the conversation between his manservant and his young knight, Arthur's thoughts had been in turmoil. The only conclusion he came to the night before was that he would keep an open mind for Merlin's sake. Mordred clearly meant a lot to his manservant, and Arthur refused to break the boy's heart for a third time. And also, Mordred was a trusted knight and was beyond loyal to his King. It pained Arthur to even think about betraying Mordred's loyalty by arresting him let alone to go through with it. Arthur rested his head against the door, groaning to himself. When did everything become so complicated? Arthur really wanted to be drunk at the moment. But as King, he couldn't just go down to the tavern like Merlin or his knights could. He could throw a feast just for the hell of it if he really wanted to get drunk, but he didn't want such a public event. Arthur wanted to be alone with his thoughts. Well, no, he actually wanted to stop thinking hence the desire to be drunk.

After bumping his head against the door lightly for a moment, a flicker of an idea started to form in Arthur's mind. It was a stupid idea, ridiculously stupid, but Arthur knew it was the only option to fill the requirements he wanted. Sighing, he pushed himself away from the door and forced himself to walk down the halls and towards the knight's hall. Arthur willed himself forward, ignoring the warning bells in his head that said this was an extremely bad idea; Arthur stopped at a door and entered without knocking, calling out cheerfully, "Gwaine, my friend. I have a request."

Hearing a groan within the room, Arthur smirked knowing full well that the scruffy knight had heard the sarcasm in the King's voice. Arthur closed the door behind him as he maneuvered his way around the disastrous room and took a seat at the small wooden table. He eyed the bed speculatively as a form shifted under the covers slowly before finally getting up. "Ah, to what do I owe the pleasure of our Princess's wonderful company on this fine morning?"

Arthur's eyes rolled skywards, annoyed at Gwaine's usual insolence. "I've come for a drink. It would be unbecoming of Camelot's King to be seen at the local tavern."

The knight had finally rolled himself out of bed and drifted over to the table where Arthur sat. Gwaine raised an eyebrow at the King, curiosity winning out over the annoyance of being awoken, "Something on your mind, Princess?"

Arthur huffed in annoyance; Gwaine's pet name for the King had become more endearing than annoying sadly. He waited for the knight to pull out two mugs, setting them on the table, and filling them with ale before retorting, "I'm a king, I've always got something on my mind."

An undignified snort escaped the knight as he downed the tankard of mead in nearly one gulp before replying, "Now, that isn't true Arthur. You may run a kingdom and have many kingly duties to attend too, but none ever leave you troubled or drive you to drink. So tell me, are you troubled because of whatever argument you had with Merlin?"

Arthur fell silent, mulling over Gwaine's question because, truthfully, Arthur had forgotten most of the argument to begin with. The anger he had felt only barely a week ago had disappeared completely, and now the King only felt ashamed. His manservant, his _best friend_, had felt sorrow that Arthur could barely even imagine and yet he had held together admirably. His father had hunted down magic users for twenty years and killed thousands and justified it by saying magic corrupted. But now, the new stories he had been told and what Arthur had seen has turned his whole world upside down. To say Arthur was troubled would be a vast understatement. Arthur's responded carefully not sure on Gwaine's opinion, "In part…"

It was Gwaine's turn for his eyes to roll skyward at Arthur's tentative reply, "Well, don't leave me in suspense, Princess."

Silence filled the room as Arthur downed his tankard of ale and gathered his thoughts. Finally, Arthur spoke softly, "Do you believe magic to be evil?"

Gwaine's eyes widened comically at Arthur's question, nearly falling out of his chair in pure surprise. "What?" Gwaine's gaze narrowed, searching Arthur carefully as if looking for some hint of something only Gwaine knew of before continuing carefully, "I believe it's people that can be corrupted by power, either magic or non-magical power. I've seen magic used for creation and healing, and was raised outside of Camelot's laws. Magic is a tool, Arthur, nothing more."

Arthur wasn't surprised by Gwaine's answer. It's one of the reasons he came to drink with the knight to begin with, knowing that Gwaine had more experience with the outside world than the sheltered King had. Sighing, Arthur rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration the revelations from the other day stirring the beginnings of a headache. This whole fiasco had started just to get Merlin and Mordred together and bring Merlin some semblance of happiness, and now Arthur was questioning every moral and belief he'd ever had. The selfish part of Arthur's brain that didn't want to deal with his conflicted feelings was telling him to just ignore Mordred for Merlin's sake and keep the laws the way his father had made them. But, Arthur couldn't ignore his conscious telling him that it was wrong to keep one magic user alive and then continue to support what is starting to look like an unjust law. Gwaine's voice snapped the thoughtful King out of his thoughts, "What does magic have to do with your argument with Merlin?"

Arthur stared down at his now empty mug, shrugging as he whispers softly, "Everything."

It shocked Arthur how quickly that response came and how true it was. Because magic _did_ have _everything_ to do with his manservant, and he hadn't realized till recently how tied into magic Merlin seemed to be. Despite all statements to the contrary, his manservant was _not_ an open book and Merlin held his secrets close to his chest. Gwaine's brow furrowed curiously as he eyed the King, "What are you trying-"

Whatever the knight was about to ask was cut off by Merlin barreling into the room, "Gwaine! I can't find Arthur anywhere! He said he had a council meeting, but there was no council held today and the council members are looking for him. And now there's some woman here petitioning for the King and Arthur is no where I've checked in the castle…"

Merlin's rant trails off, his mouth dropping open in shock at the sight of Arthur sitting at Gwaine's table, sipping a tankard of ale. "Arthur?"

Arthur rolled his eyes, smirking with amusement at Merlin's obliviousness, "Obviously, you idiot."

Merlin continued to stare, gaping openly for a long moment until Gwaine the broke the silence, "A woman came to petition the King?"

Merlin shook himself, his mouth snapping shut as he composed himself, "She says that her village was destroyed by some sort of creature."

Arthur was suddenly on his feet, his Kingly mask settled in place, "Go fetch her and bring her to the Grand Hall, Merlin."

Merlin scampered out of the run as quickly as he entered, leaving Arthur and Gwaine alone again. Arthur, without another word to Gwaine, set off to find his Queen and hear out the woman's request.

/BREAK/BREAK/BREAK/

Merlin led the scared, young woman through the maze of halls that made up the castle. He tried his best to take the quickest route to the Grand Hall, so the woman could get the rest she'd deserved and still deliver the necessary message needed. When they arrived at the Grand Hall, Merlin made a swift entrance leading the woman to the King and Queen's throne before taking his position to the right side of the King's throne. He watched from his spot as the knights and nobles filed into the room to also hear the woman's petition. A smile light up Merlin's face when he spotted Mordred entering the room, and Mordred in return offered Merlin a kind smile, accepting Merlin's unspoken apology for taking off after their kiss.

Finally, the Grand Hall's doors closed shut and silence descended on the room's occupants. The young woman shivered in fear in front of the royal couple still visible of afraid from what she saw. Arthur spoke, "You come here to petition for assistance for your village. Tell me, what has befallen your home?"

"A monster, my lord," the woman's voice carried in the silent hall despite how soft spoken she was, "it a came in the night and tore apart some of my unlucky neighbors who were out after dark. For five nights it attacked, and each night always someone was killed."

Gwen eyes were soft with sympathy as she gently asked, "What did the creature look like?"

"It had the body of a lion, my lady, and the head of an eagle. Nothing we did to harm the beast seemed to hurt it. Swords glanced off it and arrows bounced off the creature leaving it unharmed."

Merlin stiffened nervously at her description, an early memory of a younger version of himself and young and unproven Lancelot ridding out to slay a creature very similar to what the woman described. It was a griffin, a creature of magic that could only be slain with magic. His eyes locked with Mordred's, as a nervous fear filled Merlin. Mordred sent Merlin a reassuring smile, his mind brushing comfortingly against Merlin's. Arthur, on his throne, sat tense and thoughtful until finally raising his hand to silence the now murmuring court, "I will ride out at dawn with a group of five knights to slay this creature." Arthur glances at Merlin, "Escort this woman to a guest chamber, and then prepare the supplies and horses for our departure."

Merlin bowed murmuring, "Yes, my lord." Quickly, Merlin ushers the woman out of the room and escorts her to her chambers while his mind frantically scrambles for a way to kill the griffin without alerting Arthur and his knights to his magic.

* * *

_Author's Note: And again, I'm so so very sorry for the wait. I'm planning to crank out some more chapters sooner I promise and Hope Lost's final chapter is really really close to being finished. Thank you again for those who still follow, faved, and reviewed this story. I truly appreciate it. ~Shirley_


End file.
